Sparkle, Bubble, Get You In a Whole Lot of Trouble

Quick, don’t think about it, what’s your best physical feature?  Did you say eyes? Everyone says eyes. I used to say eyes too.  Because really, I have blue eyes with a ring of gold flecks around the pupils. How awesome am I?  I’m one of those rare genetic mutants with the blue eye gene, I’m special!  Except that I have to hide them behind glasses so no one ever notices them until I take them off, and then I’ll get some fool trying to hit on me complimenting my “green eyes” and then I get irritated because while green eyes are lovely, my eyes aren’t green, so it’s a pretty quick way to show me you’re just giving me a line.  And when it was super trendy for everyone to have profile pictures that just showed their eyes:

I thought lots of them were pretty and decided to see what I’d come up with if I did my own.  Eventually I determined I was coming up with ridiculous and it became a comedy photo session that no one has seen any part of until now:

By the time I’m mean-mugging the camera there I was already well aware that nothing was coming out the way my head envisioned and I may as well have some fun.  Those last two mostly never got shared because my skin is so awful, otherwise I’d be fine with them for the sake of amusement.  And hey, wouldn’t you know it, on my computer monitor… my eyes look green.  But I do promise they’re blue.  Anyway.  I fail at makeup.  My skin fails at makeup, but so does my ability to apply it.  Both eyeshadow and liner in those pictures are a charcoal grey. Every time I wear grey eye products people comment on my blue eyeshadow :\  I like blue eyeshadow, but it’s not what I’m going for with conservative grey and I’ve had some harsh comments about it.

When I was a teenager, I never let anyone see me with my glasses on, ever. I was incredibly self conscious about it and once everyone found out I had glasses, my long-term (for High School) boyfriend convinced me I had to put them on and show our little group what I looked like in them and he had this huge excited reaction about it and I’ll never forget him saying “You look so smart!” because I AM so smart and it was weird to me that he wouldn’t have noticed that until I put something extra on my face.  Eventually while I was with my ex-fiance I was wearing my glasses much more frequently and he actually told me I wasn’t allowed to wear contacts because my eyes look too much like my dad’s and he didn’t want to see my dad in me so I needed the glasses to hide them some.  I had major huge self esteem issues about that when I was planning the wedding and everyone wanted me to wear contacts and I was all “But he doesn’t love me with contacts!”

Do NOT let people tell you how you can or can’t look.  I love my dad, I love that I have his eyes, my ex can suck it and I should have said so at the time.

However, after a number of products with skin tightening serums and under eye bag removal creams and allergy pills and whatever I could come up with, what I have learned from trying to be less autistic (ha) and looking at people’s faces more, is that my eyes aren’t set in my face the way the majority of people’s eyes are.  I have what are called protruding eyes. (Do NOT google that if you are squeamish about eyes like I am, it will show you a much more severe kind of protruding eyes that are actually bulging eyes and that I wish I could unsee.)  And if I’ve been crying they swell to the point where I look rather like a frog. Even (especially) if all the crying was done the day before.

Having protruding eyes is a big part of why eye liner always seems to look ridiculous on me.  When I try to use it I always either end up looking like I have two black eyes or that I have super-massive exhausted bags under my eyes and have colored them in.  I cannot tell you how jealous I am of girls that can do winged eyeliner.

I have adored that look since being a tiny child and thought I’d never get to wear it just because it went out of fashion and would look outlandish, but it’s back, and I still can’t do it, because my eyes do not sit flush with the rest of my face so my wings have to go down then up and it just doesn’t work. I also went through a phase (that I might still be in) that convinced me I NEEDED eyelash extensions because every single woman on the Bachelor franchise has them and these are supposed to be the most beautiful people America has to offer up to a single man, right?  But google tells me that eyelash extensions look ridiculous on protruding eyes. And since I haven’t had a new pair of contacts in 12 years if I did get eyelash extensions they’d probably just run into my lenses and be obnoxious.  But oh how I want them.

It’s funny, I’m not usually into fads and trends but I seem to be all about ways to enhance my eyes, and not a single one of them does me any good, with the exception of the tip that brown eyeshadow works best with blue eyes. I have no pictures of that on myself, but it does seem to be the case.  I want to wear glittery eyeshadows in fun colors though, and glitter shadow is BACK (I could not find it anywhere as a teenager and was advised to “just use body glitter” which was a mess.)  Google has informed me I’m not allowed to do that with protruding eyes either but that may well be one where Google can go to hell, I want my glitter. That will hide behind my glasses.

So, I guess my point is, that while I’ve never seen a (non-medically or drug affected) pair of eyes that I didn’t think were absolutely beautiful regardless of colour or shape, I have a lot of self esteem issues about my own.  Cause I let stupid boys tell me what was and wasn’t okay about my face when I was a stupid girl, and I’d never heard anyone complain about anyone’s eyes before so I thought mine must be something extra terrible.  Maybe they are, I don’t know, but they’re my eyes and I love them and I need to learn to appreciate them, even if I do have to sacrifice all my cosmetic dreams.  And apparently I may be alone on this struggle to feel good about my eyes, because I wanted to share a youtube video for eye self esteem affirmations or hypnosis or subliminal messaging or anything… and there isn’t one.  Except a woman who looks very stressed out with a video entitled Lazy eye & self-esteem – How to treat people, and I’m not gonna open that one because the thumbnail makes me think she’s going to be yelling at me, and I don’t have a lazy eye, so…. *shrug*

So, for today, give yourself some eye love with cucumber slices or tea bags or fancy makeup or under eye cream or serums or whatever makes you feel good about your eyes, or relaxes them when they’re tired or strained.  And then my request to you is to tell us what you love about your eyes, and if you can think of some positive eye self esteem affirmations, comment with those too.  And anyone with protruding eyes like myself, please understand that I am NOT saying anything against your eyes. I was being quite literal and honest when I said I’ve never seen a pair of eyes that I didn’t think were lovely.  Like I said, I have my daddy’s eyes, and I love them on him, I just struggle to make it work for myself, and I do think it all stems from listening to an abusive jerk.  So if you have protruding eyes and want to tell me any of your secrets for how to make them look their best I’m all ears 🙂

If I’m being honest, I really prefer eyebrows more anyway 😉

A word about music:  We include songs for a reason.  Music helps us deal with the world, helps to soothe the soul, and gives us something else we can focus on when everything is too much.  Listen to the songs we post. Even if you already know them. Listen to them like you don’t. Pay attention to the lyrics. Pay attention to what the instruments are telling you. They all have a message, they all have a purpose, they’re all chosen for a reason.  If you like the song, please support the artist by purchasing the MP3 or Album that features it.
Today’s music can be found on
MP3: Them There Eyes (Single Version)
Album: Instant Party: Let’s Swing

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